Leah (jeffslilangel) wrote,
Leah
jeffslilangel

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boys...sometimes a girl doesn't need one

i am sooooo tired of the way men treat me...i really am. i get kicked around and played around with and then thrown away when they don't need me anymore and i am not taking it anymore. friday night i went out on a date with this guy i met at a wedding last weekend. he's cute and seemingly my type. we go to the chiefs game. everything is great. he is holding my hand, hugging on me, kissing on me, etc. we leave the game early just to drive around and talk and get alittle kissage on in the car. throughout the night he keeps kissing my forehead and tellign me that i should come out to see him at iup and he wants to see me again. then he drops me off, walks me to my door, and kisses me goodnight while telling me to call him after i get home from work the next day cuz he wants to see me. so i do. he doesn't answer and i think "no big deal he'll call back"...2 hours later no phone call, so i call again...he is with his friends and they are going to upj?!...so i ask him if we are doing anything and he says "do u want to?"..and i think that he is an ass because he was the one who made this big deal of seeing me today...then his phone started breaking up and he said he would call me later...an hour and a half later no call...so i go to upj to find suz who is "talking" to his best friend...she says they are up on campus riding their bikes around...then they stop into suz's room later...the guy enters and just looks at me like nothing ever happenend and like he doesn't even know me or spent an evening practically making out with me...so i am upset and want to leave so i ask him if he wants to walk with me to my car which is now across campus...he says sure and we walk back, he is acting really shaddy and i ask if something is wrong or if i did something wrong and he says no...i then ask if i "misread" everything from the night before and he says no i didn't..and i say "cuz i like you and i would like to see where things go" and he says "me 2" but says it in such a way like it is almost forced. so he kisses me goodnight and tells me to call him today which is now sunday....and tonight i have called him twice, both times he has not answered the phone, i left a nice voicemail, and now i have just imed his away message...no response. i feel used and i really don't like myself very much right now. i feel stupid and really hurt. i don't deserve to be treated this way, i am a good person, but it keeps happening over and over again. i don't know what to do at this point. i don't understand what i did wrong.
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